1. Wikipedia: “The flesh of the blobfish is primarily a gelatinous mass with a density slightly less than water; this allows the fish to float above the sea floor WITHOUT EXPANDING ENERGY ON SWIMMING.”
3. Smiling? Really, Sloth? It’s like you’re a dog or something. Do you want to start running now, too?
4. Wikipedia: “Its relative lack of muscle is not a disadvantage as it primarily swallows edible matter THAT FLOATS IN FRONT OF IT.”
I refuse to go out of my way to eat, because I have so many other important things on my list.
Baking scones are far too tedious and completely out of the question.
5. I’m too lazy to even finish my meal. I’m like, why not just keep it there and I won’t have to worry about dinner.
6. Look at these Sloths eating in such a hurry. YOU’RE FULL OF HYPOCRISIES, SLOTHS.
7. Us Blobfish don’t have friends. We just occasionally bumps into creatures of the same species. Friendships are WAY too mundane and tedious.
It’s like, who wants to do brunch? Mimosas, lounging and getting food brought to you?
Actually, I’d totally do brunch.
8. Look at Sloth actually playing and hugging that cat. Not slothy of him at all. Traitor.
The cat’s scowl is much more up my alley.
9. I will not give in to your active ways, Sloth. I will never pose. WHATEVER, WHATEVER I DO WHAT I WANT.
10. Look at Sloth hoola-hooping. YOU’RE GIVING SLOTHS A BAD NAME, SLOTH.
11. Us Blobfish choose to lazily sip beer. COME AT ME BRO.
Cuz I’m sure as hell not coming at you.