32. Blaine Gabbert (Jacksonville)
He wouldn’t even take his uniform off. Then again if my NFL career were going to be as short as his is about to be, I’d never take it off either.
31. Brandon Weeden (Cleveland)
He looks much more comfortable in Deliverance than he does in the pocket. Not at all surprising that the Browns QB lost on the field and then again at the presser.
30. Andrew Luck (Indianapolis)
Is this guy an NFL quarterback or a bum they found sleeping under the table?
29. Matt Stafford (Detroit)
A little early in the season for a beard that unkempt.
28. Robert Griffin III (Washington)
If you’re only going to care enough to put on a T, at least get a team logo on it…or a team color.
27. Geno Smith (New York Jets)
Rookie in his first game, he’ll get the memo to dress it up a little.
26. Andy Dalton (Cincinnati)
You didn’t really expect the guy with that hair to be a style leader, did you?
25. E.J. Manuel (Buffalo)
Another rookie in his first game. It’ll get better, Buffalo.
24. Mike Vick (Philadelphia)
You’d think after killing puppies he’d go out of his way to look upstanding every time he was in public. You’d think.
23. Joe Flacco (Baltimore)
Flacco is sort of a slobbish guy in general so this is actually on the good side of things for him.
22. Ben Roethlisberger (Pittsburgh)
Fairly incognito in the polo. Good to keep a low profile, though, if you may or may not have sexually assaulted a few people.
21. Colin Kaepernick (San Francisco)
He should have left the cans in his locker; we know he can afford Beats.
20. Jay Cutler (Chicago)
19. Drew Brees (New Orleans)
Perfectly New Orleans, a lot of chest and a wide collar meaning he probably went to the bar post game, bruh.
18. Alex Smith (Kansas City)
The buttoned down collar is not cool, not cool at all.
17. Phillip Rivers (San Diego)
What the hell is the deal with the button down collar?
16. Aaron Rodgers (Green Bay)
He looks like a Packers QB. Disheveled and frumpy which is par for the course among Wisconsinites.
15. Jake Locker (Tennessee)
Nothing special here. A mediocre effort at best, but at least he put a jacket on.
14. Josh Freeman (Tampa Bay)
The sport coat works but he is really missing that epic fro he used to rock.
13. Sam Bradford (St. Louis)
He managed to class up a locker room which is a terribly unclassy place.
12. Tom Brady (New England)
The nicest of the guys to not go full suit. At least he’s not wearing Uggs…I hope.
11. Ryan Tannehill (Miami)
Just a standard heading to church look here for a standard heading to 8-8 QB.
10. Eli Manning (New York Football Giants)
He suited up and then lost points for a tie that’s half as thick as he is.
9. Peyton Manning (Denver)
Somehow the old man is managing to look pretty young here, although I’m not sure about that frat boy tie…
8. Christian Ponder (Minnesota)
That’s a good fit on the suit but it’s a bit like what Mark Sanchez rocked when he showed up in NYC and we all know how that turned out.
7. Carson Palmer (Arizona)
Hair is a little messy here but that might be linen he’s wearing.
6. Tony Romo (Dallas)
Romo has always dressed better than he plays, which I think says all we need to know about QB looks counting in the win column.
5. Matt Schaub (Houston)
Very coordinated with the pocket square, window pane suit, shirt, and tie all working a lavender angle. Didn’t see that coming out of Texas!
4. Matt Ryan (Atlanta)
That skinny tie is keeping it fresh and the hair is perfectly in place.
3. Terrelle Pryor (Oakland)
Very nice touch with the plaid suit. He’s owning his role as a starter.
2. Russell Wilson (Seattle)
A lot of credit here for matching the getup to the wallpaper.
1. Cam Newton (Carolina)
A little bit on the prom side but if looking classy counts the Panthers are super bowl bound.