The Stages Of Accepting That It’s Truly Cold

Dedicated to those tough pioneers raised in frigid temperatures. They are now having to admit the unthinkable: it’s genuinely cold outside.

1. You were born and bred in the worst of winter conditions and nothing is too cold.

2. You and your tough friends stand outside and laugh at the mere mortals who claim that it’s “too cold.”

3. You even make jokes about the winter, because you are basically invincible.

4. The weatherman reports a massive blizzard is coming through.

5. You are remarkably unimpressed.

6. Seriously, the care you have about it is in the negatives.

7. Speaking of negatives, Winter is angry with you for your contentment. It decides to hurl its greatest weapon at you.

8. On the outside, you are perfectly confident you can handle anything.

9. Need to go outside? The cold ain’t got nothing on you.

10. What. No. This isn’t possible.

11. The cold is trying to drive steel spikes through your body, but you try to stay calm.

12. Brazenly, you suggest having a snowball fight to keep warm.

13. Maybe sledding will be better?

14. This just isn’t even fair.

15. Your confident outer shell is starting to crack. Your strength of will can’t last much longer.

16. Before you can help it, it all just bursts out of you.

17. The complaints flow out of you like an unstoppable wave.

18. This is ridiculous. Why is the world so cruel?

19. So unbelievably done here.

20. Going inside to mope.

21. Thank goodness hibernation is always an option.

22. Brb, going to sleep through the winter.

23. P.S. Make sure to turn that heat up!

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