1. The dad who creates suggestive scenes while his son is asleep and defenseless.
2. The dad who turns his baby into a mini Groucho Marx while his wife is away.
4. The dad who discovers he is a 16-year-old raver in a 40-year-old’s body.
PLUR baby, PLUR.
5. The dad who decides to keep his daughter around for one more year.
6. The dad who throws some shade at his son’s shvantz (or lack thereof).
7. The dad who plays dead and freaks out all his neighbors.
Ohhh Daddy got run over by a reindeer…
9. The dad who can’t help but kiss his entire baby’s face.
“You are so cute, I could literally eat you.”