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19 Totally Unexpected Uses For Sex Toys

**WASH BEFORE USE** NSFW unless you work in an adult store.

1. This suction-cup dildo makes for an easy-to-erect and sturdy toilet paper holder.

Nothing hard about this!

2. Having friends over? Get out those cock rings and use them as napkin holders to add an extra aesthetdick to dinner.

These will surely make dinner last longer and be more enjoyable for everyone involved!

3. Turn this cock sleeve into a Coke sleeve in just 10 minutes to keep your drink cold and refreshing!

Also great for grip.

4. Find yourself wishing you had an extra hand? Use this fisting friend to help organize your mail!

Finally put this somewhere the sun does shine!

5. Achy wrists at work from typing on your computer? A double-headed dildo will solve that!

The longer, the better, per usual.

6. Keep your memories hung tightly in any room of your house with the help of these nipple clamps!

Totes adorbs.

7. Bored of mudane candle holders? Stick it to the norm and use some rubber fists to keep your candles tightly gripped.

Now this is something to fist-bump about!

8. Got a set of old anal beads lying around? Use them to check the oil levels of your lawn mower to start mowing to your full potential!

Although oil checks are nothing new for this toy.

9. Your dish towels will always have a slot to dry in your kitchen with the help of this fake vagina!

No squirting, just drying!

10. Or when you’re traveling, take the fake V with you to give your neck a break.

Full-on lip service.

11. Feeling a little anal about all the holes left in your walls from doors? Use a butt plug as a doorstop to prevent you from accidentally banging any more unwanted holes!

So many colors and shapes to choose from makes this one completely customizable!

12. Do your books not stay up for as long you would like? Well, use a giant dildo as a bookend to keep them books properly erected for as long as you want!

Charles Dickens–approved!

13. How many sunglasses have you accidentally left somewhere? Turn those nipple clamps into an adjustable necklace so you’ll never lose a pair again.

Keep calm and clamp on.

14. Don’t want your wine to go bad? Plug that bottle up properly with a butt plug! One thing is for certain, your wine will never taste the same again!

No air breaking that seal!

15. Need to clog a sink? Surprise! Butt plugs are really great for that.

Also works with bathtubs.

16. Do you have pesky chairs that keep scratching your floors? Get out of those penis extenders and wrap them around the legs to keep that wood protected!

Stool softener, if you will.

17. Mannequins are expensive. Buy a few blow-up dolls to start sporting outfits in a much cheaper fashion for your business or even as room decorations!

The stands are assumably sold separately.

18. Finding yourself in a tangled mess of cords? Use that knuckle-duster dildo to keep your cords organized and separated for ages to come!

Just be careful where you’re pointing that dildo.

19. Got a clog in your kitchen sink? Use a penis pump to suck whatever is giving you trouble!

Now anyone with a penis pump can be a plumber!

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