So I'm not INTENTIONALLY trying to kill you, but I'm in the biggest predicament a gay man can ever face...
WHO'S THE HOTTEST HEMSWORTH ARRIVING AT LAX: CHRIS OR LIAM?
It's so hard to decide because they're BOTH SO GOOD.
😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭
You see, Chris' in-flight look is full-on BRO. WHICH IS A TURN ON, because this way I can easily fantasize about him being an experimental fraternity brother.
But then there's my other Hemsworth bae, Liam, who is looking all scruffy and shit like he's ready to give me some beard burn.
Ugh... but then there's shaved Chris who is probably wearing an XL shirt AND HIS MUSCLES STILL FILL IT OUT...
...But then there's Liam who has this cheap '70s porn star look going on which I'M RANDOMLY INTO RIGHT NOW.
WAIT. BUT CHRIS HAS A TOTAL THOR-Y BULGE HAPPENING THROUGH DENIM. D E N I M!!!!!! ! ! ! ! ! ! !!
OK THAT'S IT, I OFFICALLY PICK CHRIS!
OMG WAIT! I TAKE IT BACK! 💔💔💔💔💔💔
SOME RANDOM CHICK IS CHECKIN' OUT LIAM AND NOW I WANT LIAM AGAIN BECAUSE I HAVE JEALOUSY ISSUES!!!! ! ! ! ! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*GRABS BROWN BAG*
*ATTEMPTS TO REGAIN BREATH*
*CAN'T*
*CALLS 9-1-THOT*
*NO ONE ANSWERS*
*HAS ONLY ENOUGH BREATH TO FORM ONE MORE SENTENCE*
