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The Ultimate Guide To Chipotle Line Etiquette

Proper Chipotiquette should be practiced universally. As learned from Mitt Romney.

1. You’ve waited the whole day for this moment.

GOOBYE TO BEING HANGRY

2. You decide to hold the door open for another hungry pedestrian quickly approaching.

Look at you, proper Chipotiquette already in full-force.

3. You enter and see the usual massive line.

4. You then realize that dude you held the door open for isn’t going to let you go in front of him.

Chivalry is dead. That’s your rightful spot.

5. Brushing it off, you take the five minutes in line to decide your burrito fate.

Everything is salivating.

6. Meanwhile, that dude in front of you is completely abusing his waiting time on the phone.

He must not come here much.

7. Upon his turn, he asks for the mythical Quesorito, despite the dinner rush.

ONLY ACCEPTABLE IF YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE IN LINE.

8. You make up for his actions and ask for a chicken burrito swiftly and with confidence.

9. He then changes his mind to a burrito bowl to save calories.

Who raised this guy?

10. He then asks for “a little more chicken” but doesn’t want to pay extra for double.

11. To correct for his sinful nature, you’re satisfied with the standard serving of chicken for your burrito and proceed.

12. He asks for lots of guac.

So much for saving calories.

13. You pass on guac because you know it’s extra.

14. He gets to the register only to ask for a tortilla on the side.

Seriously he should have just gotten an actual burrito.

15. Then, he refutes guacamole charges because he didn’t know it was extra.

The worst kind of person.

16. Unlike him, you pay with no further demands and ask for a water cup.

You just want the damn burrito in your mouth already.

17. You catch him filling up his water cup with soda.

That’s it. That was final straw.

18. You share this post with him and tell him not to come back until he can demonstrate proper Chipotiquette.

Or just stick with Qdoba.

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