Top Ten Cannibals You’d Love to Eat Thanksgiving Dinner With

As you’re sitting around the dinner table on Thanksgiving sick of the same ol’ conversations about Aunt Judy’s coworkers and some podiatry appointment she missed, I’m sure you’ve all wondered aloud while sitting in front of your cranberry sauce, If you could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would you choose? Well, we asked ourselves this same question….only we limited our guests to Earth’s most interesting cannibals.

1. Issei Sagawa

The Cannibal That Walked Free (Film) / Via youtube.com

Japanese student Sagawa came to fame after devouring a Dutch classmate while studying abroad in Paris. After asking his victim and tutor to read poetry on the subject of cannibalism, he shot her from behind, had sex with her body, ate her derriere (which he said tasted like corn), and deposited two suitcases of her remains in a nearby park! He was then accidentally released from a Japanese mental hospital and became a minor celebrity appearing in Manga novels, pornography, and books about his own crime. This guy loves to listen to Wagner and open up.

2. Alexander Spesivtsev “The Siberian Ripper”

Youtube / Via Youtube

Russians fall short again and rank in at number two! Cannibal and mama’s boy Alexander Spesivtsev “The Siberian Ripper” undertook a personal mission to clean up the scourge of society. The problem (as he saw it)?: homeless children. During the span of only eight months, with the help of his mother’s inconspicuous “babushka” appearance, he de-clothed, raped, killed 90 victims (mostly young girls). After each kill, his mother would cook the victims and: voila, dinner is served! Makes you rethink your bond with your family, eh?

3. Jeffrey Dahmer

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Your brother just get a promotion? Your sister just have a baby? Well, showing up with Jeffrey Dahmer to your family’s Thanksgiving feast would upstage all of this. Over the course of thirteen years, Dahmer killed, ate, and performed heinous acts of necrophilia on seventeen victims. During this time he exhibited incredible control and inhumanity. Eventually, he confessed to a desire to “be with someone at whatever cost. Someone good looking, really nice looking. It just filled my thoughts all day long." Someone…like you?

4. Abu Sakkar

Youtube.com / Via youtube.com

Do you have any idea what’s going on in Syria? Well, this guy does! Unfortunately, he knows a lot. He knows too much. While rallying his people in the context of conflict, this Syrian rebel commander ate the heart of a fallen enemy. Some call it propaganda, some call it madness. But one thing is true: he’ll clean his plate and touch your heart with his story. Note: he’s also available for Valentine’s Day.

5. Katherine Knight

youtube.com / Via youtube.com

Katherine Knight is the perfect cook who prided herself on her knife skills. After two decades of experience butchering pigs, she killed her boyfriend, served him up in an elaborate meal for his kids with some awesome fixings that would make Mark Bittman drool like baked potatoes, pumpkin, zucchini, cabbage, yellow squash, and of course: gravy! Furthermore, with the leftovers she prepared a second meal! That’s so Thanksgiving. What a mom!

6. Rudy Eugene

Youtube.com / Via youtube.com

7. Omaima Aree Nelson

Via youtube.com

8. Peter Bryan

themirror.co.uk / Via themirror.co.uk

9. Albert Fish

Youtube.com / Via youtube.com

10. Jorge Beltrao Negromonte da Silveira (Cannibal Bakery)

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