11 Things I Learned From Blanche Devereaux

Sure, the Golden Girl was a slut. But the 50-year-old mattress taught me — and a legion of gay boys everywhere — important life lessons.

1.

Showtunes are fabulous

2.

The gym = gay church

3.

Always wear protection

4.

Have (some) standards

5.

Dating a twink can be fun

6.

You can never be too dramatic

7.

It's not Lebanese ... it's LESBIAN

8.

Best way to get over an aborted Grindr date:

9.

Don't lie about your age online

10.

Can't afford a gift for your friends? Try making a calendar

11.

From time to time, you will eat your feelings