28 Things Only Stay At Home Mums Will Understand

Peppa Pig knows what’s up.

1. 8am counts as a lie-in.

Disney

2. That moment you glance in a mirror for the first time that day.

Forgot to brush hair? Check. Smudge of yesterday’s makeup around your eyes? Yep. Already done the school run? Of course.

3. You’ve forgotten what it’s like to go to the toilet without an audience.

4. So you’ve definitely hidden in the bathroom to eat a snack.

Mean Girls/ Paramount Pictures

“I’LL BE OUT IN JUST A MINUTE!”

5. The postman knows that you are always in to receive packages. For everyone on your street.

Wikipedia Commons

No, it’s fine, really. Yes, the baby is napping. Thank you for shouting.

6. A quick trip to the shop definitely counts as an wholesome and educational excursion.

7. You are evangelical about the misuse of parent and child parking spaces.

Flickr: inverness_trucker / Via Creative Commons

“Not even a car seat in the car. HOW DARE THEY.”

8. Soft. Play. Hell.

Flickr: foilman / Via Creative Commons

Fun for them, guaranteed headache for you.

9. The thought of dropping the daytime nap gives you the fear.

10. Because of the seriousness of an overtired baby.

Perks of Being a Wallflower/ Summit Entertainment

Bedtime is ruined and no one will be sleeping well tonight.

11. That between 5 and ­7pm is THE WORST time to call.

NBC/__username__

In fact, there is no good time to call. Send me a text. I’ll get back to you when the kids are ten.

12. But the joy when bed time is perfectly executed.

Flickr: lac-bac / Via Creative Commons

Bath, book, bed, AND fast asleep by 7pm. THAT’S the dream.

13. That children always get sick when you have plans.

Modern Family/__username__

14. But you are NOT ALLOWED to be ill.

Parenting whilst poorly will push your endurance to new heights.

15. This is your office.

16. Which means you feel left out during Christmas party season.

Office party for one.

17. Making you feel you need to justify your job, even when you know you shouldn’t have to.

“What do you DO all day??” Um…well, I couldn’t tell you exactly, but all I know is that I
never get one moment’s rest.

18. But you’ve never been as productive at any job EVER BEFORE.

­Just give me a spare hour and I can take over the world.

19. You wonder how anyone survived before the advent of all ­day children’s television channels.

20. Andy, Cerrie, Katy and co feel like your best friends.

BBC

Because you regularly go whole days without speaking to another adult.

21. When anyone without children tells you how tired they are.

Touchstone Pictures

Mmm, you were out all weekend were you? You feel completely shattered? Uhuh.

22. That dads do not ‘babysit’ their own children.

The Simpsons/__username__

“Is daddy babysitting tonight?” Um. NO. He’s just parenting. Y’know, like we both do every day.

23. Not being able to remember the last time you sat on the top deck of a bus.

Flickr: revstan / Via Creative Commons

No pushchairs? No small children? What kind of world is this??

24. When things that used to be a chore have now become the ultimate relaxation.

Going to the supermarket alone means time to peruse the aisles, ahh this is EXCELLENT…. Wait, what did I used to like doing?

25. Like the joys of a good drying day.

Flickr: mattjnewman / Via Creative Commons

You’ve reached the bottom of the laundry basket and have space to hang it all out. Simple pleasures.

26. That everyone will remember your child’s name, and never think to ask for yours.

Only at baby group is it still perfectly acceptable to admit you don’t know a person’s name even tough you’ve been talking to them face to face every week for the last two months.

27. That it’s NEVER appropriate to ask “When will you be having another one?”

Glee/__username__

28. No. More. Snowmen.

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