1. 8am counts as a lie-in.
4. So you’ve definitely hidden in the bathroom to eat a snack.
“I’LL BE OUT IN JUST A MINUTE!”
5. The postman knows that you are always in to receive packages. For everyone on your street.
No, it’s fine, really. Yes, the baby is napping. Thank you for shouting.
10. Because of the seriousness of an overtired baby.
Bedtime is ruined and no one will be sleeping well tonight.
11. That between 5 and 7pm is THE WORST time to call.
In fact, there is no good time to call. Send me a text. I’ll get back to you when the kids are ten.
13. That children always get sick when you have plans.
20. Andy, Cerrie, Katy and co feel like your best friends.
Because you regularly go whole days without speaking to another adult.
21. When anyone without children tells you how tired they are.
Mmm, you were out all weekend were you? You feel completely shattered? Uhuh.
22. That dads do not ‘babysit’ their own children.
“Is daddy babysitting tonight?” Um. NO. He’s just parenting. Y’know, like we both do every day.
26. That everyone will remember your child’s name, and never think to ask for yours.
Only at baby group is it still perfectly acceptable to admit you don’t know a person’s name even tough you’ve been talking to them face to face every week for the last two months.