1.
"The government's shut down, bitches. WELCOME TO THE PARTY"
2.
"FUCK YES PARTY ALL DAY, PARTY ALL NIGHT, ROLL ALL DAY, ROLL ALL NIGHT."
3.
"DRUNK DANCING IS MY BEST DANCING."
4.
"Whiskey, whiskey, party, party. Dance party-OHHH I WANNA DANCE WITH SOME WHISKEY"
5.
"SO LIKE I reached the top shelf and the top shelf REACHED BACK."
6.
"Oh this hat? Yes, I did make it myself, for this fine occasion ACTUALLY."
7.
"Hey man, is my face even here anymore? I can't feel it. Touch it, touch it for me."
8.
"HELLO DARLA, IMSORRYFORCALLINGSO LATE BUT I LOVE YOU, I MISS YOU BEBE...NO I AM NOT JUST DRUNK."
9.
"Yes, I can walk in a straight line. THANK YOU."
10.
"So I says to him, I says Im TALLGIRAF-wait you guys get pizza? Sometimes a story is here for erryone."
11.
"This my room now. Someone pleaze tell ma mom where I am?"
12.
"OMG I'm so happy I met you, you're my new best friend, we're gonna be best friends forever okay? LET'S GET BRUNCH."
13.
"HELLO? STORE? I NEED MORE BOOZE! Why you close so early on a Saturday night?...STORE??"
14.
"Dude, I'm a zebra, I swear. I just forgot my ID, okay? Just let me in, just be cool."
15.
"I swear to god, if he has another drunk tantrum, I'm disowning him."
16.
"Hey man, look. I love you, brudder but you need to stop spinning, okay? Thank you for your time."
17.
"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila...sloth."
18.
"Fuckin' amateurs, all these guys."
19.
"Yeah, I'm goin a little hard but it's government break, bitches!!"
20.
"Ow. Be cool, little pengy, be cool."
21.
"While the commoners celebrate, I'm too busy planning the next shutdown."
