1. "My friend qualifications are as follows: good listener, fluffy, and pretty nice most of the time."
2. "I made you a friendship bracelet in multiple colors because I don't know what you're favorite is yet and I want my bases to be covered."
3. "Hey. I'm not bribing or anything, but I am one hell of a conversation starter at a party."
4. "I am very punctual. Everyone needs a punctual friend. I can be that for you."
5. "I'm inherently a good wingman."
6. "If you don't become my friend, I will never recover."
7. "Yes, I'm wild, but I'm also adorable. Let's cuddle?"
8. "I put on my dancing shoes for you. I don't even like dancing."
9. "We're really hurt you stopped inviting us to hang out when we got married."
10. "WE ARE GOOD NEIGHBORS OKAY"
11. "If we're going to be friends, I need you to start taking my ideas seriously."
12. "Just because I look like I hate this, doesn't mean that I do. I'm sorry, I have a complex and I'm working through it."
13. "Please? All the other turkeys are mean to me."
14. "Listen. You come into my house, you need to be my friend."
15. "I compliment you on your skin every day, the least you could do is compliment me on my feathers."
16. "JUST CHECKING IN BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND PLEASE BE MY FRIEND PLEASE."
17. "I'm fucking adorable and you should want me to be your friend."
