5. Only sits in fancy chairs to highlight his masculine folds.
6. “I really resent your condescending tone when you speak about my rolls.”
21. “I love my rolls because 1. I can hide things 2. They’re soft 3. They’re sexy.”
26. “I’m not sleeping, I’m exercising my wrinkles. Gotta make sure they stay nice and pronounced.”
Here Are The Top Stories
- Bill Cosby testified in 2005 that he obtained sedatives to give to women he wanted to have sex with, the AP reports.
- The South Carolina legislature took a key step toward removing the Confederate flag from statehouse grounds.
- More than 1 million people are expected to attend Pope Francis' mass in Ecuador.