1.
People commonly think squirrels are harmless despite their reputation as pesky little thieves.
2.
The truth is, they have been slowly threatening us for decades.
3.
We can physically see them growing from the fruits of their mischievous labors.
4.
You may be saying to yourself, "hey, squirrels aren't so bad!"
5.
Would someone "not bad" do THIS??
6.
Not even statues erected in their likeness are safe.
7.
They are infiltrating the minds of our young!
8.
They will befriend your stepdad, only to attempt to lure him away from his family.
9.
Just look at this chump stealing a sacred burrito.
10.
And this guy who will give you that photo op right before he swipes away your hard earned mint chip.
11.
THIS IS AMERICA, SIR AND WE VALUE THOSE SLICES.
12.
Perhaps the worst thing of all? They will stare at you as they bask in their spoils just to rub it in.
13.
Yeah, some have made friends with our cats. And this should be the biggest warning of them all: if they have them, then who is next??
14.
Look at this tourist, oblivious to the millions of squirrels ready to attack her at any moment.
15.
Like this guy, just waiting for his time to pounce.
16.
I see you and I'm not liking it.
17.
So back the eff off, squirrels.
18.
Because that is not your purse!
19.
That is not your pizza.
20.
AND THAT IS CERTAINLY NOT YOUR SANDWICH.
21.
STAY OUT OF MY HOUSE AND IN YOUR GOD DAMN LANE.
