3. Your body weight is so evenly distributed this won’t tip you over.
6. You don’t take any shit but you don’t make a thing of it. You just don’t.
7. You have one day of the week designated to being a lonesome cowboy.
13. You keep cool when your friends are embarrassing.
14. But aren’t above giving a little side-eye when they are.
17. No one can tell if you are sitting or standing…
18. But you love it because it’s your own secret and you are king.
19. You can sleep literally anywhere with your built-in eye mask.
22. You are great at creating self-portraits but see the value in materials that will wash away. Philosophically speaking.
23. You also dabble in video art.
24. “OH MY GOODNESS! Your ears are so long! Can you fly? Can I touch them??” is something you hear every.single.day.
25. And you’re like, “You’re so clever! I’ve NEVER heard that one before!”
26. Eventually, you acquiesce because it means more to your minions. But not without a little sass showing how you feel.
31. You know exactly what you want but know the value of playing a little “hard to get.”
In The News Today
- The Dutch Safety Board has released a final report of its investigation into why Malaysian Airlines Flight MH17 broke up over Ukraine in 2014. ›
- Condé Nast has acquired Pitchfork, the independent music website and magazine, for an undisclosed amount.
- Iran's parliament approved a deal on its nuclear program, which was agreed to in July following lengthy talks between six world powers. ›