1.
You live in one nation, under Dog.
2.
It doesn't matter if you can only see part of your computer screen: this is your most ideal work environment.
3.
This is your norm and you've come to terms with it.
4.
They're your best friend so of course you talk to them like a person.
5.
And you're guilty of making up songs about and for them.
6.
This happens to you at least three times a day.
7.
You've strongly considered this kind of bed situation...
8.
...but honestly have no problem if they take your spot. They deserve it.
9.
You're more excited about their Christmas than anyone else's.
10.
And you take their birthday VERY seriously.
11.
When they do something bad, you can't even stay mad for very long.
12.
You basically have a secret language.
13.
You find yourself talking about them a lot.
14.
The most stressful part of a dog-free vacation is finding a proper sitter for them and it includes a very extensive interview process.
15.
And even then, you eagerly wait for updates and pictures.
16.
Honestly, things would just be easier if your dog could just text their own updates.
17.
If it was between your dog and SO, your dog would win every time.
18.
It's non-negotiable that your dog and your SO get along.
19.
And you have a definitive deal breaker:
20.
You know your dog's best friends and have arranged playdates.
21.
You always have treats hidden somewhere and have even made some homemade treats for your bestie.
22.
You'd be stoked if this happened to you.
23.
And if they fell asleep on you and you can't reach the remote? Sorry, but you're watching infomercials for the next three hours.
24.
Besides, just watching them sleep fills you with unbridled joy.
25.
The main reason you want to win the lotto is so you can buy a ranch for all the rescue dogs in the world to live their best lives.
26.
This is you all day, everyday.
27.
And you're not ashamed: it's not YOUR fault dogs are the best.
