1.
"How do you do, ma'am? I love your green outfit."
3.
"I thought this was my bed...wait. Where am I?"
4.
"What if the Christmas tree is terrified of presents but CAN'T MOVE?? OMG, I can't move either....AM I THE TREE??"
5.
"I just gotta say one thing to YOU."
6.
"I'm fine, watch, I can walk in a straight line."
7.
"I was going to get another beer, but it feels so good in here..."
8.
"Wait, eggnog has dairy in it? I'm lactose intolerant. Shit. Literally shit."
9.
"Look, beez are for Christmastime and they look cute. Watch, I...damn it."
10.
"I swear, I only had one eggnog... Eggnog? Egg. Nog. What a funny word, you know? Feels weird on the mouth. Egg...Nog."
11.
"Watch, I was a gymnast. I COULD'VE BEEN GREAT."
12.
"DO YOU SEE ALL THE THINGS ATTACKING ME, DO YOU SEE??"
13.
"I TOOK THIS SANDWICH THING TOO FAR"
14.
"Hello, Mom? I'm hoooome!"
15.
"Zoom zoom, bitches."
16.
"Bro, I really appreciate you driving me home. I'm just gonna lay like this, OK?"
17.
"One sec, let me get my shoes on. OK, now I'm ready to go out."
18.
"All I gotta do is get in my bed and it'll be OK. And one..."
19.
"This is the last time I spike the eggnog. THE LAST TIME."
20.
"There wasn't even alcohol in mine, I just feel disgusting after that sixth glass."
21.
"I'm terrified of water but I gotta keep hydrated."
23.
"Don't worry about where I got this Halloween candy in December. I HAVE MY SECRETS."
24.
"Whoa, what, you told me to get water, OK?"
25.
"The drunchies are real but I'd prefer if you didn't watch me do this."
26.
"What do you mean, 'the party's over'??"
27.
"HOLY SHIT THE CAT IN THE MIRROR WAS ME THE WHOLE TIME."
28.
"HOLY SHIT THAT'S A COP, DID HE SEE ME??"
29.
"There are so many of you, which one do I talk to? STOP MOVING."
30.
"Just napping with my best friends. SHHH, they're telling me a bedtime story."
31.
"This is the best time of year."
