1. "You say it's going to be 2014??"
2. "Have I wasted this entire year?"
3. "My disappointment year after year is like clockwork. Cold, hard, clockwork."
4. "I just found my New Year's Resolutions list...I accomplished nothing."
5. "I actually thought I could stop hitting the snooze button?? I FORGOT TO EVEN TRY."
6. "I wanted to develop my own sense of style...I'm still wearing this damn sweater from 3 years ago."
7. "When I think of all I could have accomplished in 2013, I just...I gotta nap."
8. "I said I would socialize more...I made friends with my blanket, does that count?"
9. "Taking a cold, hard look in the mirror just isn't what it used to be."
10. "Year after year, it's just all the same. I might as well be a dog at this point."
11. "I go to my friends for comfort but their lives are the same bleak abyss as mine."
12. "I promised to stop pretending to be something I'm not. And yet, here I am, one year later, clinging to the toupee that still makes me feel whole."
13. "I reach out to my reflection but I simply feel the nothing that I accomplished this year."
14. "When did my dreams turn so dark?"
15. "Okay, so I wasn't great at putting away my clean laundry this year. So what?"
16. "THERE are the books I promised myself I would read this year. Shit."
17. "Oh god, don't use my resolution list against me."
18. "I promised myself I would drink less whiskey, not that I would stop drinking period."
19. "Look, I didn't want to be one of those cats who sign up for the gym in the first week of January. But then I forgot to sign up at all, okay? I just forgot."
20. "I said I would do what ?? No, no I don't think I would promise to give up fish."
21. "What if I continue this way my entire life??"
22. "Even I didn't think 2013 would end this...bleakly."
23. "I am so ashamed."
24. "The end of the year hits me like a freight train full of regrets."
25. "Another year, still addicted to my FOMO."
26. "What if next year I'm still trapped in this castle I call 'home' by the humans I call 'family'?"
27. "Maybe I should start taking baby steps. Like, tomorrow, I'll try not to destroy the furniture in the house and then see how it goes the next day..."
"My resolution was to become the fish, so I became it. I am amazing."
