1. May 1272, the first pug is pronounced King.
Importance: Pug King. Enough said.
2. The First Pug Baby Meet-up of 1400
Importance: Pug meets baby, pug is confused by baby, pug loves baby, all is better in the world.
3. The Refusal to Get of Bed Protest of 1492.
Importance: We’ve all been there. This time, it cost him the discovery of the United States but it was worth every minute of extra sleep.
4. The First Robot Pug is born, 1601.
Importance: This was kept under wraps for many years, the pug’s family fearful of witchcraft accusations. Finally in 1984, documents were found that confirmed the urban legend and it influenced the making of the Terminator movies.
5. 1789: Pug invents overalls, keeps them a secret for roughly 100 years.
Importance: PUG INVENTED OVERALLS.
6. The Great Pug Nap of 1790
Importance: Pug was challenged that he could not fall asleep anywhere, at anytime. Here he is, just about to fall asleep in his third most difficult position.
7. Pug pooed in a shoe, got away with it, 1892
Importance: This confirmed to pugs everywhere that they could get away with anything with the right kind of puppy eyes.
8. 1890, Pug Militia created.
Importance: With a militia in place, pugs were now set to be respected by other beings. Unfortunately, the militia disbanded just 10 years later and pugs resigned back into their adorable, majestic places in history.
9. The First Pug Surf Championship of 1900.
Importance: Nobody thought that pugs could swim, let alone surf. Until one day a pug took to the waters with her bravery and a board and showed everyone. Now, pugs are very respected athletes.
10. The Slow Pugnapping of 1912
Importance: In 1912, Darla took her friend’s pug on a walk, never to return. Rumors have circulated that they joined the circus as part of the freak show.
11. The Great Thanksgiving Feast of 1927.
Importance: Set precedent for pug eating habits for centuries to come.
12. The Great Pug Dance of 1945
Importance: The pugs held a 24 hour dance-a-thon to protest World War II. The war ended officially just a week later, pug involvement has not been confirmed but is assumed.
13. 1951, Pug Hug is invented
Importance: Pug hugs are the best part of having a pug in your life and it was not until 1951 that this was realized. The Pug Hug is now a trademark of the breed, comforting those around the world every. puggin’. day.
14. First same-sex pug couple takes photograph, 1952
Importance: Pugs have been way ahead of humans in this realm, accepting same-sex unions/marriage/love/etc. since the beginning of pugs. This was a big moment because this was the first time a human was willing to take a picture of two lovely male pugs in love. Humans have a lot to learn from pugs.
15. Pug Rebellion, 1962
Importance: Pissed off (literally) at such speciesist rules, this pug protest got that sign removed. Unfortunately for pugs, these signs exist around the world everywhere.
16. The Great Mosh Pit of 1972
Importance: The invention of the mosh pit. Originally called the pugpit but pugs didn’t want to exclude other types of beings.
17. Lobster Fest, 1977
Importance: Moments after this photo was taken, the restaurant ran out of lobsters, causing pug riots in the street. No one knows what happens to this pug but legend has it he ran all the way to Maine to live his dream of eating lobster meat all day every day.
18. First Silent Disco, 1980
Importance: First, pugs invented the hipster paradise that is a Silent Disco. More importantly, the left out pug starts the lovable trend of left out pugs, becomes an internet sensation and the most popular pug in the world. This GIF is featured frequently in “Stars in High School! Just like us!”
19. First pug adopts a kitten, 1983
Importance: Interspecies friendships had long existed but a DOG and a CAT?? Unfathomable. Until this moment.
20. 1985 Puggy Smalls releases his first track, “Pugster’s Paradise”
Importance: Puggy’s childhood friend, Coolio, stole the song in 1995 but changed “Pugster” to “Gangster”. The fame he gained from the deceit tore them apart.
21. First pug becomes a detective, 1988
Importance: This set up many pugs to be successful sleuths in the future: with their cute, unassuming faces, they were able to get into the most secret environments and catch some of the deadliest people. In 2013, one pug detective caught Whitey Bulger.
22. The epic “Rock, Paper, Scissors” battle of 1987.
Importance: Way before he became famous on Instagram, Norm won with a simple rock in a 3 hour battle. There was a lot of controversy as to whether Norm threw paper. It was ultimately decided it was a rock and he did, indeed, win and the cheers were heard across the world.
23. Pug Attack, 1990
Importance: This is the first reported instance of “Death By Cute” even though they still have not found this woman’s body. She may have just been so happy that she ran away, unable to live amongst those who have no experienced such joy.
24. 1991, The Great Pug Conspiracy Begins
Importance: The conspiracy, which asserts that pugs will take over the world via the internet and general cuteness by 2050, persists to this day. It started when one Alfred Pug held a secret meeting with his pug friends on West 14th Street in NYC. The pug who transcribed the meeting disappeared two days later, along with the transcripts.
25. The 1994 Olympugs
Importance: Pug did not properly train and got stuck after their toilet dive. His penalty was being stuck there for 4 hours as the rest of the games went on. This is also the birth of the phrase, “I have made a huge mistake.”
26. The Great Pug Protest of 1998
Importance: In 1998, a pug tied himself to a pole outside of the courtroom to get the word “Pug” added to the dictionary not just as a noun but as a verb. His protest worked and now the sentence, “She was just pugging down the street” is accepted in elite academic circles.
27. 2004, first pug millionaire
Importance: Harris claims he made his millions from his invention of the squeaky toy but anyone who knows him suspects foul play.
28. The Great Pug Hideout of 2006
Importance: IT WAS THE GREATEST HIDING TECHNIQUE OF ALL TIME.
29. Pug Dance Party, 2009
Importance: Out of this came the phrase, “Dance like nobody’s watching”
30. The Great Pug Stair climb, 2010
Importance: Pug discovers hoping up stairs is both more adorable and more efficient than one paw at a time.
31. 2011: Pug protests the Royal Wedding
Importance: Pug William was in love with Kate in college, even encouraging to enter that lingerie fashion show that won Prince Williams heart. He speaks to how much he regrets it in his memoire, “Of Pug and Loss: One Dog’s Roller Coaster Ride with a Dutchess”.
32. The Great Vaseline Explosion of 2011
Importance: Lesson learned, now in pug literature as a warning.
33. 2012, this pug made friends with this corgi.
Importance:No one thought a camera could handle this much cute, everyone thought it would explode. The camera actually became stronger having documented such a brave, wonderful moment and is on the waiting list to be placed into the Smithsonian.
34. 2013, Norm the pug figures out how to take a selfie.
Importance: For years, pugs relied on humans to document their adorableness. However, when pug Norm used his dewclaw to take this selfie, pugs everywhere rejoiced because they could now document their majesty even when humans were not around.
35. 2013, Pug wins $25,000 in costume contest.
Importance: Strengthens pug pride around the world.