2. “I see those flowers and all I see is a graveyard. I will not pee in the yard today.”
4. “This relationship is just a momentary relief from the despair that overcomes me when my love experiences the sweet relief of slumber.”
5. “If there was a God, I would have smelled his butt. I come here to mourn a time when I did not think of these things.”
7. “I await the frisbee day after day. The boredom is only bearable but for the warmth of the sun.”
8. “We look inward: nothing. We look outward: nothing. When will we all implode?”
9. “Pitch-black nights engulf the fibers of my being, down to the curl of my tail. It feels OK.”
10. “My master looks here every day. Is there some meaning that I just don’t see?”
11. “How easily it is to recreate oneself to embody greatness when greatness has no permanence and could therefore be deemed trivial.”
12. “Personal hygiene depresses me. What’s the point if you get dirty again, day after day?”
13. “I put on the scarf of my vanity to mask the tears of my soul.”
16. “I get up, I look for a ball, I eat, I go to bed, I am still here. There is clearly no meaning and yet… and yet.”
17. “They ask me to ‘roll over,’ to ‘fetch,’ to ‘sit.’ When will they realize the blue of the floor matches the blue of my soul?”
18. “I fart and I fart and the universe never changes. What is a pug to do?”
19. “The rain speaks to the tears of the soul who has lost his favorite toy, who has lost his purpose.”
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