1. "Before we get into it, I'll say it: I do look adorable in this tiny sombrero!"
2. "But for today, I'm going to take off my sombrero and celebrate in a more tasteful way."
3. "I'm not saying I'm going to be a respectable adult but I am saying I will be respectful."
4. "I'm telling you this now so I don't have to slap you later."
5. "I'd just hate for you to ruin my buzz like that, ya know?"
6. "It's possible to get our drink on and enjoy delicious Mexican food without wearing sombreros or other Mexican stereotypes today, I promise!!"
7. "Just stop for a second."
8. "Take off that hat and take a shot!"
9. "Let's celebrate some anti-colonialism without perpetuating stereotypes!"
10. "Let's become one with our burritos!"
11. "Basically, I just want to drink and celebrate Mexico today."
12. "It'll be so much more fun that way!"
13. "Look, I love hats! But not this one, not today."
14. "I know you don't mean it to be offensive..."
15. "But now you know, so let's party!!"
16. "And later, we can all pass out together in drunken harmony!"
If you want to check out a more comprehensive "how-to" guide for tonight, check it out here!