1. The Brittas Empire.
Rimmer from Red Dwarf takes over a leisure centre. He’s joined by a man with warts, camp men in tiny shorts and a woman who keeps babies in drawers. Much hilarity does not ensue.
2. Goodnight Sweetheart.
Rodney from Only Fools and Horses plays a TV repairman who discovers a time portal, which allows him to live a double life and keep two women on the go at the same time. Score.
3. Keeping Up Appearances.
It basically had two jokes. 1) Posh people are silly. 2) Working class people are crude.
4. The Thin Blue Line.
Mr Bean runs a police station with a gay man, an Asian woman, a black man, a couple of laaaaads and his wife. The biggest crime in this cop show was that it got a second series.
5. As Time Goes By.
In 1997 Geoffrey Palmer and Judi Dench appeared together in the Bond movie ‘Tomorrow Never Dies’. It couldn’t have been any more different to their roles in this snoozy pensioner sitcom.
6. 2point4 children.
In the ’90s this was considered a radical sitcom. It was based around a mum, a dad and two kids. Twin Peaks eat your heart out.
7. The Upper Hand.
A remake of the US series Who’s The Boss that made generous use of canned laughter. If Joe McGann so much as spilt a glass of orange juice, the ‘audience’ burst into uproarious laughter.
8. Waiting For God.
Graham Crowden and Stephanie Cole starred in this retirement home sitcom. You’d find more laughs at a funeral.
9. Babes In The Wood.
Denise Van Outen was the star turn in this dire ITV effort. It was intended to be the British Friends. The Times newspaper probably put it best when they described it as “very shoddy”.
10. Married For Life.
In the US Married… With Children ran for 11 seasons and was a huge success. This ITV Russ Abbot remake only managed seven episodes. And you could have fitted all the decent gags into an ad break.