1. Mom packing you pizza Lunchables instead of the usual smushed PB&J.
All the kids with the cracker stackers Lunchables looked like chumps next to you, because there was something indescribably cool about uncooked pizza in grade school.
2. Wearing your light-up shoes to school.
You begged your mom to buy them for you because you thought they’d help you run faster, but all they really did was ruin your chances of ever winning a game of manhunt.
3. Passing the handwriting test and getting to write in pen.
Except you couldn’t handle the responsibility of the most permanent writing utensil so you bought a pack of erasable pens (or smearable pens, as they should have been called).
4. The teacher using your name in a test example.
And you looking around the room to see if anyone else noticed. They did.
5. Climbing the rope in gym class and getting to write your name in chalk on the ceiling.
Talk about leaving behind your legacy.
6. Waiting all weekend to rip a loose tooth out of your head first thing Monday morning.
Because it meant getting to wear a tooth-carrier necklace, an “I lost a tooth” sticker, and a gappy grin for six glorious hours.
7. The principal calling you down to the main office.
Everyone would “oooh” like you were some kind of common criminal but you knew it was just because you forgot your lunch in your mom’s van.
8. Finally being old enough to have a locker instead of a dumb cubby.
On second thought, you probably should have stuck with the cubby. Lockers are like the bedrooms your parents never see, so it’s only a matter of weeks before that ham sandwich you forgot about grows a tentacle.
9. Two words: line leader.
They were the sheep, and you, their noble shepherd.
10. Collecting test stickers on your desk as if they were war medals.
Bonus points if they were scratch-n-sniff.
11. Seeing your older sibling in the hallway.
It was the original celebrity sighting.
12. Staying after class to erase the board.
And it taking you years to realize it wasn’t some sort of good student privilege, your teacher was just tired of doing it day in and day out.
13. Successfully passing a secret note during class.
Because you absolutely could not wait five extra minutes to ask your BFF to sit with you at lunch (even though you sat together every lunch).
14. Playing Red Rover out of the lunch aide’s sight at recess.
They may have outlawed it due to the high volume of sprained wrists, but you had a score to settle.
15. Getting to call every kid in the grades lower than you a baby.
Although you would quickly find out once you hit middle school that you were, in fact, the baby.
16. Stealing a lump of clay from the art room to secretly play with in your desk during homeroom.
Clay is and forever will be the most fun artistic medium.
17. The teacher asking you to deliver a note to another teacher down the hall.
And that feeling you got when you knew every single kid in your class wanted to be you.
18. Rolling up to school in the front seat like a boss.
Because your older sibling had the flu that day.
19. Behaving well enough that your music teacher chose you to play an instrument during sing-a-long.
While your classmates mouthed the words to that wimpy song, you were killing it on the cymbals.
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