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So you're basically a typical person
And as such, you have to deal with a lot. I mean, waving to a stranger you thought was a friend
Trying to give somebody a hug
You find yourself strugglind with the most basic of functions. Walking anyone?
Sometimes you question whether you should even bother smiling
But among all these cringe-worthy moments, none are as notorious as:
From the moment you decide to take the elevator to the moment you step out, it is a continuous string of awkwardness
The second you press that button, you're already hyperventilating about everything that can go wrong.
Bumping into somebody as you try to get on because you didn't wait for people to get off
Realizing you got on an elevator going down, when you needed to go up only after the doors close.
Getting off on the wrong floor
Getting on an elevator and forgetting to press the button
And other human beings make things even more complicated. It's bad enough when you have to share a silent ride with a group of strangers.
Just don't make eye contact lest they take it as an invitation for small talk
But then you're on an elevator alone and somebody gets on and you ever so inconspicuously check who it is
And, of course, it turns out to be that guy you've interacted with briefly that one time in class
And regardless of whether you decide to endure it in awkward silence or break down and attempt to make some friendly conversation, the end result is still going to be awkwardness galore.
And then to make things just a little bit worse, your body makes some weird noise
Oh and what about that one time you went to press the button for your floor just as somebody else was doing the same and your hands ended up touching?
What's the proper etiquette for holding elevator doors open again?
And then the one time that you're running really late and need to get on that elevator to at least salvage one minute
And last but not least, if you think the universe has finally smiled down upon you and decided to give you a break when you get an elevator all by yourself, just remember that there's still probably someone out there watching you make a fool of yourself
So good luck dealing with all that emotional damage
Elevators, the summary:
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