2. How Americans Live Today!
3. Buying Guns To Kill Each Other, Especially Children!
4. Everyone Is A Drug Addict!
5. Because Houses Blow Away In The Wind, People Live In Tents!
6. The Tents Collapse All The Time, So The Red Cross Provides Curtains And Supplies Donated From North Korea!
7. There Are No Birds In The Trees, Because Americans Have Killed Them All To Make Soup!
8. The Government Subsidizes Meals Of Hot Snow, For Which Americans Are Grateful!
9. Another Staple Of American Diets: Coffee Made Of Snow!
10. Because It Snows All The Time, The Poor, The Cold, The Lonely, And The Homosexual Huddle Together For Warmth!
11. Thank Goodness For The Generous North Korean Camera Crew, Who Gave These Poor Americans Cake!
In The News Today
- In a landmark prison reform decision, California has agreed to a settlement that will effectively end indefinite solitary confinement in the state. ›
- Los Angeles has officially been selected as the American candidate city to host the 2024 Summer Olympics. ›
- Missouri executed Roderick Nunley Tuesday night for a 1989 rape and murder. It was the state's sixth execution this year, and the nation's 20th. ›