2. How Americans Live Today!
3. Buying Guns To Kill Each Other, Especially Children!
4. Everyone Is A Drug Addict!
5. Because Houses Blow Away In The Wind, People Live In Tents!
6. The Tents Collapse All The Time, So The Red Cross Provides Curtains And Supplies Donated From North Korea!
7. There Are No Birds In The Trees, Because Americans Have Killed Them All To Make Soup!
8. The Government Subsidizes Meals Of Hot Snow, For Which Americans Are Grateful!
9. Another Staple Of American Diets: Coffee Made Of Snow!
10. Because It Snows All The Time, The Poor, The Cold, The Lonely, And The Homosexual Huddle Together For Warmth!
11. Thank Goodness For The Generous North Korean Camera Crew, Who Gave These Poor Americans Cake!
- The U.S. government is suing Ferguson, Missouri, after the city tried to change a negotiated police reform settlement.
- New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has dropped out of the 2016 Republican presidential race after poor results in New Hampshire.
- Twitter's shares fell steeply in after-hours trading after they reported a decline in monthly users 📉