As BuzzFeed UK’s resident American Expat, here are some of the phrases I’ve learned to never use. (At least not in the office.)
1. “I’m just gonna go potty.”
What? Oh you mean you’re going to the toilet. We’re all adults here, there’s no need to be so coy.
2. See also: “restroom”.
Is there a secret nap room you haven’t told us about or are you just after some YOU time?
3. “I was so bummed!”
What you get up to at the weekend is none of my business.
Which brings to mind the popular ’90s clothing line, B.U.M. Equipment
BUM equipment! Like equipment FOR YOUR BUTT.
4. “Because ________!”
Because OBVIOUSLY. Because LOL. Because OMG. Because FEELINGS. You’re going to need to be a bit more descriptive than that because no one has any idea what you actually mean.
5. Same goes for “_____ is EVERYTHING!”
Is it? Is it really? Don’t lie to me. It’s like only one thing. Maybe two at a push. And we’re not 15, sooooo….
6. “You’re all set!”
This is usually used by waitresses and overenthusiastic baristas. As Ailbhe says, “I AM NOT A JELLY. I AM A PAYING CUSTOMER.”
7. “Fanny pack”
This means something very, very different in the U.K. I suggest you keep what you pack in your fanny to yourself, girl.
8. “I’m just gonna go put on my tennies.”
Tennies as in tennis shoes? As in shoes that are MADE FOR TENNIS? I don’t think you’re actually wearing tennis shoes. Those are just shoes.
9. See also: “I’m just gonna go put on my sneakers.”
Your sneakers? Like shoes for SNEAKING in?
10. Pronouncing “filet” as “fil-eh” like you’re French or something
We are at McDonald’s. There’s no need to get all fancy and cultured on everyone.
11. “I really like your bangs!”
It’s fringe. And if you think about it, fringe makes sense. It’s fringe for your face. Bangs just sounds… illogical. (And gross.)
12. “I just stained my pants!”
You meant you dropped some soy sauce on your “trousers” or your “jeggings”, but your British colleagues now think you’ve crapped your pants.
13. “I could care less!”
Well, you still technically care though, so maybe say “I couldn’t care less” because that just makes more sense, doesn’t it?
14. “I just want to touch base with you”
You DO?! Well, I usually don’t do this sort of thing but…
15. “Thank you SO MUCH you are THE BEST!!!!!!”
You can say this to your American friends, but British people don’t want to hear it. If you are thankful, buy them a drink and never mention it again.
16. “I’m SO pissed!”
It’s 8am. You need to rethink your life choices.