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1. Your local Starbucks barista knows you by name and has helped debug your app
2. You watch Apple Keynotes not for the next hardware, but to know when the latest iOS betas will be available
3. You think APIs are man’s best friend
4. When a musician talks about C-sharp, you tell her Objective-C is better
5. Forget the next mediocre 99-cent game; you know the real money is in Enterprise apps
6. You can make APIs jump through hoops
7. It offends you to sell a business app in a market called “Play”
8. You are jealous of 8-year-olds with best-selling games
9. You know that PhoneGap is not the time between when the newest iPhone comes out and when your contract expires
10. You use Balsamiq for more than your salad dressing
11. KitKats, Jelly Beans, Ice Cream Sandwiches, Honeycombs, Gingerbread and Froyo are more than just dessert for you
12. Your resume says [self setNeedsDisplay:YES];
13. When you play Candy Crush, you spend more time thinking how you can build that sort of in-app purchase into your own app than actually playing the game
14. You own stock options in half a dozen startups and have turned down offers from a dozen more
15. When you tell strangers what you do for a living, they ask if you can help them with their app
16. Seriously, even doctors have asked you for free advice on coding their apps
17. You think naming your app is much harder than building it
18. The phrase “RequestThrottling” makes you want to strangle someone
19. You think 4G LTE is too slow and lacks the bandwidth needed for serious apps
For more mobile humor, check out this animated take on “IT’s Mobile Nightmares”
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