1. You’re first introduced to the phrase “ring by spring” about .2 seconds after you start freshman orientation.
What? That’s like, a thing that exists?
2. You soon realize that it’s actually not a joke.
Well it kind of is, but not really.
3. And that pretty chapel on campus? Yeah, it’s booked solid for like the next three years.
Literally everyone and their mother wants to get married there.
4. Which means that about every weekend you stay on campus, you’ll hear the wedding bells and see a plethora of bridesmaids running about.
You can’t even walk to go get lunch without trying to avoid a wild bride and her photographer trying to get the perfect picture RIGHT in front of where you need to walk.
5. You basically can’t strike up a conversation with someone of the opposite sex without feeling like they think you’re hitting on them.
Like NO I JUST WANNA MAKE FRIENDS ISN’T THAT WHAT COLLEGE IS FOR PLEASE DON’T ASK ME OUT.
6. And if you have a friend who is of the opposite sex, everyone thinks you’re dating.
Am I not allowed to be friends with someone of the opposite sex? No? Well TOO BAD.
7. You’re pretty sure that your school is actually used for the sole purpose of people getting married.
Sure, getting married is a pretty cool thing but must we try at finding our spouse the moment we step onto campus?
8. Which just makes it harder for you because literally EVERYONE pairs off.
It’s the first week back and all your friends are already coupled up. Which is just annoying and honestly confusing.
9. So basically going out with your friends is a no go since they all have dates to bring.
I’ll just sit in my room and watch Netflix, which actually does sound more fun.
10. And you didn’t think people still went to college for an “MRS Degree” but clearly you were wrong.
That’s still a thing? Honestly? *dramatic eye roll”
11. Because you actually came to college to ya know, learn things.
Not everyone has to get married before they graduate!
12. And sure, you might meet someone while you’re there.
But that’s not your sole purpose for paying all that tuition money! ‘Cause if that’s the case, then your future spouse is hella expensive.
13. You have nothing against people pairing off in college.
Just don’t shove it in my face, okay?
14. But all your friends being together just makes family gatherings more awkward.
Like you’d think your grades would matter more to your family BUT NO.
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