1. Always match your wrist bling to your hair bling.
2. Plaid newsboy caps are impossible to pull off.
UNLESS you pair said cap with a sleeveless orange jersey.
(For more inspiration, check out the two fashion mavens in the background.)
3. Your clothes should accentuate your assets.
(like your super-toned, middle school biceps)
4. The coolest boys will ignore dress codes and just wear what makes them comfy.
If a tuxedo tee is good enough for Ethan Craft, it’s certainly good enough for you.
5. Your hair should constantly resemble a piece of fine art.
For example, the combination of sporadic patches of crimped hair and one lone ringlet will make you look like royalty.
6. Seriously though, Aaron Carter loves crimped hair.
7. Be wary of outside influences.
Nice try, Kate Sanders. Cartoon Liz will never be fooled by your tricky-ass compliments.
9. Your self-esteem is 100% determined by your lingerie collection.
10. So are your friendships.
Kate Sanders, you busty bitch.
11. Assert your individuality at all times.
Begin by rocking a straw hat sheathed in paisley.
Also never say “Hey dawg, what’s the dealio?”…a lesson all humans should follow.
12. Make Medusa-inspired braids more high fashion with fuzzy pom poms and a red bucket hat.
13. Avoid unembellished jeans like the plague.
You should probably jazz them up with iron-on flower patches. Luckily there’s a book for that! The description for this treasure is: “Features awesome jewelry and cool accessories to make in little time using all variety of beads.”
ALL VARIETY OF BEADS.
14. If there’s ever an opportunity to rock a bedazzled do-rag, TAKE IT.
15. Just not at the dinner table, mmkay?
16. If you aren’t wearing original pieces, you are doing everything wrong.
Accept death before you accept wearing the same outfit as someone else.
17. The world is your palette, and fingernails your canvas.
18. Flaunt your personality with fun statement shirts, like this word search pattern.
20. Quality, not quantity.
Choose one or two expensive accessories, such as a safety pin or barrettes with dice glued on the ends.
21. When it comes to hair color, bright and crazy equals chic and classy.
The popular girls will be SO jealous.
22. Dress to impress for any television appearances.
Coordinating your bandana with your pleather jacket is a good place to start.
24. Never get caught wearing the same thing twice.
Break this rule, and you will get verbally assaulted at your graduation. No one wants that.
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- And how well do you know what happened in the news this week? Take our quiz. ›