25 Important Fashion Lessons From “Lizzie McGuire”

Sassy cartoon conscience not included.

1. Always match your wrist bling to your hair bling.

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2. Plaid newsboy caps are impossible to pull off.

UNLESS you pair said cap with a sleeveless orange jersey.

(For more inspiration, check out the two fashion mavens in the background.)

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3. Your clothes should accentuate your assets.

(like your super-toned, middle school biceps)

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4. The coolest boys will ignore dress codes and just wear what makes them comfy.

If a tuxedo tee is good enough for Ethan Craft, it’s certainly good enough for you.

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5. Your hair should constantly resemble a piece of fine art.

For example, the combination of sporadic patches of crimped hair and one lone ringlet will make you look like royalty.

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6. Seriously though, Aaron Carter loves crimped hair.

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7. Be wary of outside influences.

Nice try, Kate Sanders. Cartoon Liz will never be fooled by your tricky-ass compliments.

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8. Reuse only the best trends from decades past.

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9. Your self-esteem is 100% determined by your lingerie collection.

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10. So are your friendships.

Kate Sanders, you busty bitch.

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11. Assert your individuality at all times.

Begin by rocking a straw hat sheathed in paisley.

Also never say “Hey dawg, what’s the dealio?”…a lesson all humans should follow.

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12. Make Medusa-inspired braids more high fashion with fuzzy pom poms and a red bucket hat.

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13. Avoid unembellished jeans like the plague.

You should probably jazz them up with iron-on flower patches. Luckily there’s a book for that! The description for this treasure is: “Features awesome jewelry and cool accessories to make in little time using all variety of beads.”


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14. If there’s ever an opportunity to rock a bedazzled do-rag, TAKE IT.

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15. Just not at the dinner table, mmkay?


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16. If you aren’t wearing original pieces, you are doing everything wrong.

Accept death before you accept wearing the same outfit as someone else.

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17. The world is your palette, and fingernails your canvas.

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18. Flaunt your personality with fun statement shirts, like this word search pattern.

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19. Dead Muppets make excellent purses.

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20. Quality, not quantity.

Choose one or two expensive accessories, such as a safety pin or barrettes with dice glued on the ends.

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21. When it comes to hair color, bright and crazy equals chic and classy.

The popular girls will be SO jealous.

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22. Dress to impress for any television appearances.

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Coordinating your bandana with your pleather jacket is a good place to start.

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23. What: cornrows. When: always.

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24. Never get caught wearing the same thing twice.

Break this rule, and you will get verbally assaulted at your graduation. No one wants that.

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25. And most importantly, always remember to make fashion FUN.

Wear a nose ring! Plop turd-buns on your head! Eat some toast!

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