1. Time to do my weekly shop!
2. I've even prepared a list so I don't buy any useless shit.
3. Yes, good, I am an adult.
4. Why is my trolley so sticky? And why are the wheels always so wonky?
5. Someone left their old shopping list in MY trolley.
6. Rude.
7. Right, repeat after me: I will not buy unhealthy crap.
8. Yup, I'm going to be healthy this week.
9. 100% healthy. Nothing but kale and quinoa.
10. How do you even pronounce quinoa?
11. YAAASS CADBURY EGGS ARE ON SALE.
12. Oh wait, they're from Easter.
13. And they've expired.
14.*Puts in trolley anyway*
15. First item on my list: Grapes.
16. Wait, why do they have so many signs warning customers about loose grapes?
17. Has someone actually died from slipping on a grape?
18. Ew these grapes are sort of expensive.
19. I'll buy apples instead. They're also round. And green.
20. Jeez I'm healthy.
21. You might as well call me Michelle Bridges.
22. I wonder what she buys on her weekly shop?
23. She probably pays someone to go get it all for her.
24. I wish I had abs.
25. OH, OREOS.
26. I'm pretty sure they're vegan, so they must be healthy.
27. Tim Tams are 100% better though.
28. Ugh, I'm bored.
29. FOOD SHOPPING IS BORING.
30. Does that lady have a dog in her trolley?
31. FFS Australia.
32. Oh, barbecue chickens are on sale!
33. Maybe I should buy two because they're on special.
34. But what am I going to do with two whole chickens?
35. I don't even know if I really like chicken.
36. Is this chicken even healthy?
37. I'm pretty sure it's cooked in oil.
38. Like, A LOT of oil.
39. OK, I'll get three chickens.
40. Ew, I know that person.
41. Please don't come over here.
42. They're coming over here.
43. Oh, yes, hello!
44. I feel like they're judging everything in my trolley.
45. Well I have apples and three chickens so judge me all you want, bitch.
46. I bet they're jealous that I'm so healthy.
47. Stop looking at my Oreos and expired Easter chocolate.
48. OK, it's avocado time.
49. AVOCADOS ARE HOW MUCH?!
50. I'm not bloody paying that.
51. Maybe I should put them through as apples in self-serve?
52. No, that's super dodgy, don't do that.
53. But they're so expensive.
54. Seriously, I could literally go buy a Happy Meal for the price of just one avocado.
55. Ugh, whatever, I'm putting all this shit back and buying two-minute noodles instead.
