1. You only changed 1 digit in your password each semester.
But somehow you still got confused.
2. Your classroom regularly turned into a voters registration office.
Oh, I’m sorry. We’re you saying something?
3. Your basketball team lost to Harvard.
Steve, where you at buddy?
4. Your basketball team lost to NMSU.
The Lobos made it to the NCAA tournament last year, but couldn’t beat the Aggies.
5. University Advisement was about as helpful as an umbrella in the desert.
So I need to take advanced calculus to fulfill my degree in art history?
6. You’ve been a victim of multiple school children invasions.
Aren’t there cooler places to go for a field trip?
7. Walking to class without getting asked to save trees/dolphins/children was almost impossible.
8. All of your math courses were taught by a foreign teacher who you never understood.
You want me to do WHAT with that dividend?
9. As a dorm resident you didn’t gain the freshmen 15. You actually probably lost weight.
Lava. It comes out of you like lava.
10. You listed Hokona as your first choice of dorm, but were placed in Alvarado.
Then they built Casas del Rio.
11. Your battle with anything internet related was never ending.
13. As a female you bravely traversed campus after sunset and risked the chance of being groped.
14. You ran around campus in your underwear.
At least it was for charity.
15. You never opened a single one of the President’s “Weekly Perspectives” graciously emailed to you every Monday morning.
Please, tell me more about imposed tuition hikes or how all of the bathrooms were outfitted with a snazzy new hand dryer. It’s fascinating stuff, really.
16. Your former school President was accused of running a web sex ring.
17. You often struggled to find a seat in Hogwarts. When you did, you were approached by a hobo.
Who doesn’t love a good game of musical chairs?
18. On multiple occasions, you were required by your teacher to attend a library “orientation” session.
In reality, it was an introduction to basic computer skills. But hey, at least you didn’t have to go to class that day.
19. You paid $200 for a textbook you hardly used.
You received precisely $27.65 at book buyback.
20. You took Greek Mythology to fill your Humanities requirement.
You saw more naked people than former President Garcia (See #16), but would take Monica Cyrino’s class again in a heartbeat.
21. Your carefully constructed excuses got you out of at least 1 parking ticket.
No, I swear Grandma really did get run over by a reindeer and I had to park in the bus lane.
22. Someone’s grandma was in one of your classes.
It’s never too late to go back to school.
23. You almost lost your life in a pedestrian/longboard/bike collision.
24. You had days, even a week off school because of a “winter storm.”
Grab a blanket. Grab a buddy.
25. You wasted time waiting for the SUB elevator.
In reality, you could have just walked up the 2 flights of stairs, but the stairs were not conveniently located.
26. Something was stolen from you at one point or another.
27. The most exciting thing to happen on campus in months was the heated Chick-fil-A battle.
Luckily, your student body elected to renew their contract, despite their social outlook.
28. You were mildly amused by UNM Confessions for the semester this fad swept the nation.
Needless to say you no longer sit on any benches on campus.