1. The classroom debates would be about the crisis in Sudan.
Instead of aid to Haiti.
2. Travis would be in a lo-fi band.
Instead of a 90s grunge band.
3. Cher would wear clothes from Alexander Wang and Balenciaga
Not Alaia and Calvin Klein.
7. They’d go to spinning class.
Instead of doing workout videos at home.
8. Cher would have a bejeweled iPhone case, probably made by a designer.
She’d write everything on that, not with a feathery pen.
9. The only “herbal refreshments” would be juice cleanses.
10. Everyone would wear fedoras.
The only thing more ridiculous than a fedora is a beret.
13. They’d wear flatforms.
Not Mary Janes.
15. They’d Instagram everything.
Instead of printing photos and taping them in lockers.