Being in the army isn't all just death and guns and bombs and stuff. In the Dirty South, getting tanked with hot single ladies is almost as important as body armor.
Editorial note: Whoa! You've found a super-old post here on BuzzFeed, from an earlier era of the site. It doesn't really represent where we are anymore, and may in fact be totally broken, but we're leaving it up as a part of our early history.