Does your five-year-old take guitar lessons? Do you have one of these tacky iPod-stroller hybrid-thingies? Does your toddler wear a Death Cab for Cutie t-shirt to sleep? If so, congratulations! You are officially a stereotype, and Neal Pollack is your spokesperson.
Editorial note: Whoa! You've found a super-old post here on BuzzFeed, from an earlier era of the site. It doesn't really represent where we are anymore, and may in fact be totally broken, but we're leaving it up as a part of our early history.