13 Things Only Fake Tan Users Understand

Life isn't easy when you're pale. You blend into the sand at the beach, and everyone thinks it's hilarious to call you Casper. To celebrate our pale fury, here are 13 things only fake tan users will understand.

1. You get weird looks when you say you’re going to go and tan at 10pm on a Thursday night

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For us pale folk, tanning in the actual sun during the day is a rarity. Instead, tanning for us involves some mousse and a mitt in our bathrooms at night time.

2. You will forever have a patch of pale skin on the middle of your back

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No matter how hard you stretch, you just can't seem to reach that one spot.

3. Brown-stained bed sheets aren't weird to you

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Most people probably think brown-stained sheets are gross, but not us. A brown bed means a killer tan.

4. You start to look like a reptile after a week

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Once your skin gets dry, your legs start to replicate a crocodile's skin.

5. You own two completely different coloured foundations

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You need one for your tan days, and one for your pale days. It's expensive being pale, guys.

6. Wearing white clothing makes you nervous

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That white dress looks damn good with your tan, but you also sweat brown now.

7. The bits between your fingers are either too white or too tanned

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Why is it so hard to get it right!?

8. Your boyfriend is scared to sleep in your bed on tanning nights

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His fear probably began when he woke up with a brown streak on his chest where your arm was resting overnight.

9. You’ve probably skipped an event or two because you hadn’t tanned the night before

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If you're going to invite me out, please inform me at least one week in advance. I need to exfoliate, moisturise and tan in the lead-up to the event.

10. Your clothing choice each day depends entirely on whether you’re tanned or not

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Shorts on a pale day? Hell no, I'll be sweating it out in jeans, thanks.

11. You always look like a bald eagle

Rolf Hicker Photography Rolf Hicker / Via primped.ninemsn.com.au

Fake tan never lasts as long on your face as it does on the rest of your body. The result? A pale face with a brown body. Nice.

12. You get way more attractive on Thursdays

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Thursdays should be known as the International Day of Fake Tanning. In preparation for the weekend, pale ladies gather together in harmony and slap on some brown mousse. In other words, we all get way more attractive on Thursdays.

13. You need to hold back your emotions more than others

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Pale girls have stronger emotions than naturally tanned girls. Why? We're not allowed to cry for 6 HOURS while our tan dries.