38 Things You Will Never Experience Again

It’s never the same after the first time.

1. A better smell than a brand-spankin’-new one of these:

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2. A more exciting sight to see when you walk into a room:

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3. A more accurate way to predict your future:

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4. A better way to travel the world:

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5. Anything as terrifying as this:

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6. A way to have more fun with 25 cents:

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7. A better way to consume your daily intake of fruits and vegetables:

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8. A cooler way to wake up in the morning:

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9. A better place to disappear in:

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10. Something that will ruin your tongue as violently as these:

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11. Anything more embarrassing than this:

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12. Anything more rewarding than getting a gold star:

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13. A better way to tell someone you love them:

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14. A even better way someone could tell you that they loved you:

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15. A more exciting reason to go get fast food:

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16. A more HARDCORE toy:

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17. A wiser man than Mr. Rogers:

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18. A more exciting day at school:

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19. A better place to conquer the world from:

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20. A more soothing musical duo:

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21. The original smartphone:

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22. A snack that transcends our dimension:

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23. A movie scene as PAINFUL as this one:

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24. A better sign that it was time to go to sleep:

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25. A better pair of friends:

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26. A more unpleasant sound than this blood-curdling racket:

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28. A more perfect first family:

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29. A more delicious kind of dirt:

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30. A more cutthroat game:

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31. A more satisfying way to learn math:

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32. A more pleasing sound than the sound this thing made:

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33. A better way to organize your prized possessions:

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34. A sweeter scent than scratch-and-sniff:

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35. A more comforting sight than this at night:

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36. A better way to dig for treasure:

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37. A exciting way to learn about animals:

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38. And a better feeling than waking up on a hot summer morning, knowing that the only responsibility you had was to be home in time for dinner:

It really never gets better than that.

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