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    Never Give A Woman A Combat Job

    The U.S. military is on course to open combat positions to female service members. Some skeptics worry that if women can engage in hand-to-hand combat to the death with jihadists, they'll just keep asking for more. They are right to worry. History shows that American women are going to keep demanding more opportunities to prove their equality with men.

    Since 2013, the U.S. military has been a course to open all combat positions--including infantry, armor and special operations jobs--to qualified female service members by January 2016.

    But some people--mostly men, unsurprisingly--question whether women truly have the physical strength, mental resilience and all-around gumption to be true assets on the battlefield. They worry that if women can pick up guns, drive tanks and engage in hand-to-hand combat to the death with jihadists, they'll just keep asking for more.

    They are right to worry. A close examination of history shows that American women are like the eponymous title character in "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie." Like the mouse, once they have their cookie, they are just going to keep demanding more opportunities to prove their equality with men.

    Don't believe me? Check out these women who kept wanting more.

    If you give a woman an inch (or a cookie), she’ll ask the voters to elect her to Congress

    If you let a woman serve in Congress, she’s going to ask for the right to vote

    And once she's voted, she’s going to demand to serve alongside men in the military

    We now pause for a few words directed toward opponents of women in combat

    View this video on YouTube

    YouTube / Via youtube.com

    Once she serves with men, she’s going to want to break the sound barrier like men

    Once she’s flown fast and far, she’s going to demand equal pay for equal work

    Once she has equal pay (at least in theory), she’s going to want to ban gender discrimination

    Then she’s going to look up, and she’s going to want to go into space

    At some point, all of these accomplishments are going to make her want to prove her mettle by commanding U.S. soldiers in battle

    Then she's going to get it into her head that "Anything men can do, I can do better"

    View this video on YouTube

    YouTube / Via youtube.com

    MJ, you got beat. By a girl. That's cool.

    And now we pause for a few more words from our sponsors

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    YouTube / Via youtube.com

    Don't worry, he got over it.

    Once she’s commanded soldiers and drank Gatorade, she’s going to absurdly think she can command athletes. And she’ll want to coach in the NFL

    And after you’ve given her all those things, she’s still going to want more. She’s going to become the first paraplegic female veteran to serve in Congress

    When Members of Congress debate women in combat, I look down at the stumps of my legs & wonder, where do they think I was - in a bar fight?

    Via Twitter: @TammyforIL

    Illinois Congresswoman Tammy Duckworth is an Iraq War veteran who suffered severe combat wounds while serving as an Army helicopter pilot. She lost both of her legs and was the first female double amputee from the war. You do not want to mess with this woman. But she would be happy if you to vote for her.

    She’s going to struggle up every hill, cross every river and grit her teeth alongside her male counterparts during the U.S. Army’s elite Ranger School

    If you give a woman an inch (or a cookie), she’ll want a combat job. And once she has that combat job, she’s going to think that she’s qualified to perform every job that a man can do. And then, god forbid, she’s going to want everything

    Why, she may even want to be president!

    And that is why you can never give a woman a combat job