77 Things We All Think While Driving

Because everyone on the road is an idiot. Except you.

1. Oh cool, traffic.
2. Glad I’m not on that bus. Peasants.
3. Yeh, yeh, all right I’ll let you in.
4. HEY! WHERE’S MY FUCKING WAVE?!
5. Is that person reading?
6. Get off your phone you fucking idiot.
7. Hmm… better check my phone.
8. I hate you.
9. Go go go go go go!
10. No! We could have made it! Fuck you!
11. That’s cool, do your three-point turn in the MIDDLE OF THE ROAD.
12. I don’t care about your family.
13. If I rammed into them I’d probably live…
14. Just a little tap…
15. Old people. Ugh.
16. Youths. Ugh.
17. I see you! I SEE YOU!
18. You know what you did!
19. Man I’m hungry.
20. What?! I just got gas yesterday!

21. What are you doing in the fast lane?
22. Seriously?
23. MOVE!
24. The world is full of idiots.
25. Fucking trucks.
26. Fucking trailers.
27. Fucking RVs.
28. Fucking caravans.
29. Fucking cyclists.
30. Hey! Hey! Indicate!
31. Is that Bill?
32. It must be Bill.
33. *Beeps horn*
34. That wasn’t Bill.
35. Get OFF my ASS!
36. JAYWALKER!
37. I could run you down.
38. I’d probably get away with it too.
39. Get off the road.
40. Cool convertible, dickweed.

41. It’s just RAIN!
42. WHY DID YOU CROSS FOUR LANES OF TRAFFIC JUST TO BE IN MY WAY?!
43. Turn your headlights on.
44. Moron.
45. Why is that guy wearing a hat?
46. You’re in a car. That makes no sense.
47. Take your stupid hat off, stupid guy.
48. HIGH BEAMS.
49. Are you taking a photo?
50. Of yourself?
51. Yes you CAN turn from the middle lane! HAHAHA!!!!
52. You’re in the carpool lane.
53. Get out. Everyone can see you’re by yourself.
54. Dickbrain.
55. I HAVE RIGHT OF WAY! HAHAHAHA!!
56. Why am I here?
57. I hate this car.
58. If I save up enough I could get a new car. Easy.
59. Nah.
60. *Singing to radio* I should be a singer.
61. Don’t cross the road in front of me.
62. Gas is how much?!
63. Well that guy’s compensating.
64. I should get some of those fuzzy dice.
65. Nah that’s a bad idea.
66. Imagine if I got in a crash.
67. No one would care…

68. What’s she doing?
69. Is she putting on makeup?
70. DO THAT AT HOME.
71. Oh yay school zone!
72. Was that a cop?
73. Be cool.
74. Just because there’s a speed camera doesn’t mean you have to slow down to HALF THE FUCKING SPEED LIMIT.
75. Look at that guy. Speeding. What a dick.
76. And now we’re both at the same set of lights.
77. Real impressive.

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