1. Growing up in Australia, you first learn about Halloween from movies like Hocus Pocus and A Nightmare Before Christmas.
2. You quickly realise the whole thing is about wearing awesome costumes and eating “candy”, a mysterious American food that sounds a lot like lollies.
In other words, AWESOME.
3. You wonder what’s wrong with Australia that means such amazingness doesn’t happen here.
4. But your parents just roll their eyes and mutter something about American cultural imperialism.
5. You spend weeks begging them to let you trick-or-treat anyway.
6. They eventually relent and let you spend October 31st knocking on your neighbours’ doors in your best Dracula costume.
7. Shopping bag in hand, you excitedly wait for the delights you’re sure will be yours once you’ve said those magic words…
9. And families at other houses pretend they’re not home, even though you can see them through the window.
10. Finally, someone gives you a “treat,” but somehow it feels more like a trick.
11. If you’re really lucky, someone actually has junk food in their house and is willing to share it with you.
12. But by the end of the evening, when you were expecting something like this…
14. As you get older, you’re determined to make the trick-or-treating experience more fun for the next generation of Aussie kids.
15. So on Halloween, you stock up on treats and happily anticipate the smiling faces of the kids who’ll come to your door.
20. You begrudgingly give him a treat and spend the rest of the night drowning your disappointment in chocolate.
21. When next year’s Halloween comes, you just get annoyed because its online presence is inescapable.
Which makes you feel even more left out.