The 17 DOs And DON’Ts Of Awesome Tailgating

There isn’t really a wrong way to tailgate, but with another football season about to begin, here’s some advice on getting as much fun as you can out of a day at the lot.

1. DO Take It Easy The Night Before So You Can Get Up Early And Park As Close To The Stadium As Possible

Idaho Statesman / McClatchy-Tribune / Getty
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2. DON’T Bring Frozen, Pre-Formed Hamburger Patties

Steven Depolo via Flickr

Pamela Graham via Flickr


Eating a frozen hamburger is a waste of 1) meat and 2) the minutes you have left in your life before you die.

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3. DO Bring Enough Food To Give Some To The People In Adjacent Parking Spaces

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It’s a pro move to establish good vibes with your neighbors right away.

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4. DON’T Be A Scold About The Technical Difference Between A “Barbeque” And A “Cookout”

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5. DO Bring More Ice Than You Think You Will Possibly Ever Be Able To Use

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Make sure your beer is cold and frosty heading into hours three through ten!

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6. DO Bring Something To Help Pass The Time

David Reber / Via Flickr: davidreber

These guys have it made.

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7. DO Make Sure You Have A Way To Keep Up With Other Games

arctic_whirlwind / Via Flickr: antciardiello
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8. DON’T Play Ladder Toss

It looks’ like a kids’ toy. Football is a game for grown men and the women who can drink them under the table.

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9. DO Play Cornhole

Erika Goldring / Getty

Throw a SACK in a HOLE? More like it.

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10. DO Bring A Football And Dent Some Poor Sucker’s Car Hood With An Errant Punt


“Go long! Nice! Okay, I’m going to try and punt this one! [sound of hard object falling from 50 feet in the air onto a thin sheet of metal] Whoops.”

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11. DON’T Leave A Mess

Bill Frakes / Sports Illustrated / Getty
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12. DON’T Get So Drunk That You Miss The Game

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13. DON’T Forget That You Can Tailgate After The Game Too

amberley johanna / Via Flickr: amberlina
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14. DO Walk Around The Parking Lot With A Case Of Beer Talking To Strangers

Bill Frakes / Sports Illustrated / Getty
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15. DO Get So Jacked Up For The Game That You Nearly Explode

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16. DO Something Crazy

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And, most importantly:

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17. DO Forget About All The Dumb Stress Of Everyday Existence While You Bask In The Greatness Of Being Free And Alive On A Beautiful Fall Weekend

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It’s football season again, everyone.

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