The 17 DOs And DON'Ts Of Awesome Tailgating

    There isn't really a wrong way to tailgate, but with another football season about to begin, here's some advice on getting as much fun as you can out of a day at the lot.

    1. DO Take It Easy The Night Before So You Can Get Up Early And Park As Close To The Stadium As Possible

    2. DON'T Bring Frozen, Pre-Formed Hamburger Patties

    Eating a frozen hamburger is a waste of 1) meat and 2) the minutes you have left in your life before you die.

    3. DO Bring Enough Food To Give Some To The People In Adjacent Parking Spaces

    4. DON'T Be A Scold About The Technical Difference Between A "Barbeque" And A "Cookout"

    5. DO Bring More Ice Than You Think You Will Possibly Ever Be Able To Use

    6. DO Bring Something To Help Pass The Time

    7. DO Make Sure You Have A Way To Keep Up With Other Games

    8. DON'T Play Ladder Toss

    9. DO Play Cornhole

    10. DO Bring A Football And Dent Some Poor Sucker's Car Hood With An Errant Punt

    11. DON'T Leave A Mess

    12. DON'T Get So Drunk That You Miss The Game

    13. DON'T Forget That You Can Tailgate After The Game Too

    14. DO Walk Around The Parking Lot With A Case Of Beer Talking To Strangers

    15. DO Get So Jacked Up For The Game That You Nearly Explode

    16. DO Something Crazy

    And, most importantly:

    17. DO Forget About All The Dumb Stress Of Everyday Existence While You Bask In The Greatness Of Being Free And Alive On A Beautiful Fall Weekend