• 1. The Michael Bluth

    Imagine your family is composed of idiots who constantly bombard you with problems (not that hard, I know), and your the one who shoulders the responsibility of trying to solve those problems, when you’d really rather be chillin’ in Cabo, meeting women, or even just trying to be a good dad by spending more time with your son. Yep, that’s what Michael Bluth has to deal with on a daily basis. The Michael Bluth is a shot of red wine, because with all the crap going on in your life, you really don’t have the time to stop and enjoy glass.

  • 2. The Lucille

    You know you have an alcohol abuse problem when you have a glass of vodka with every meal, and that includes breakfasts. So, the the Lucille is a shot of vodka, chased by a slice of toast (possibly buttered). Feel free to substitute the toast for pills, another of Lucille’s favourite substances.

  • 3. The George Michael

    Feeling neglected by your father? Struggling in a world where your success may only take you as far as manager of a banana stand? Have an incestuous crush on your cousin? Than the George Michael, a banana-rum smoothie, is for you.

  • 4. The Gob

    When you’re a professional magician, you live to impress people with your illusions (don’t call them “tricks”, those are for prostitutes). As such, the Gob is a rum and coke with a bit of dry ice in it to create the illusion that you’re drinking a magic potion. For the rest of the family, check here.