1. When your mum says "put it on my head" when you're just trying to help.
2. When your uncle (who isn't even really your uncle) lectures you about your school work.
3. When you and your siblings are dressed in matching clothes and accessories for a family do.
4. When you realise you forgot to defrost the meat like your mum asked.
RIP, me. 😓
5. When your hated cousin comes round and your parents tell you "oya, go and play with her!"
6. When you're told to call someone who isn't your mum "mummy" out of respect.
7. When your dad tells you to "be nice and share your snacks" with your younger siblings.
"What – I can't have anything?"
8. When you're trying to watch the Doctor Who Christmas special while your tipsy uncle talks even louder.
9. When your mum says you're going home but stands to chat with yet another auntie for another 25 minutes.
10. When you're unexpectedly volunteered for childcare duty by your dad at a family event.
11. When your mum tells you not to touch the jollof rice in the fridge because "it belongs to your brother, OK?"
12. When your parents repeat the story of how they went to school barefoot for the 768th time.
13. When you excitedly open the ice cream tub in the freezer, only to find stew.
14. When your mum says "I didn't kill my mother so you can't kill me."
15. When your parents start really long prayers but you've got a train to catch.
16. When your cousin covers for you because he knows he's too grown to get yelled at.
17. When the auntie you haven't seen in literally 19 years asks, "Do you remember me?" while pinching your cheek.
18. The subtle ~or not so subtle~ "threat" of being sent "back home" if you were naughty.
19. When the auntie you thought was cool turns on you when you don't curtsey in greeting.
20. When your dad calls you all the way downstairs to pass him the remote control that's literally 50 centimetres away.
21. When your mum tells you to "eat, eat!" at a friend's house, but explicitly told you before you left the house not to touch any food.
22. When you hear your mum speak in her non-Nigerian, BBC RP accent for the first time.
23. When you're 30 years old but still kinda scared of what your mum will say about your new septum piercing.
24. When your cousins form a ring around at a party and start chanting "ay ay ay" as you dance.
25. When your grandma nudges you at your cousin's wedding and says in a plaintive voice, "I pray I don't die before your own wedding."
26. When your dad mocks your "terrible" Yoruba accent, even though you're *really* trying your best.
27. When you excel at tying a gele first time round, unassisted.
28. When Lagbaja's Konko Below comes on at a Naija wedding reception.
29. When your auntie visits from Nigeria and one suitcase is just full of Gala, Nigerian Milo, and Indomie noodles.
