12 Things Twenty-Somethings Can’t Stop Doing

No matter how hard we all try.

1. Comparing our lives to our favorite shows

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If you’re not a ‘Monica' or a ‘Rachel,' you need to reevaluate your life. Meanwhile, you’re just happy someone else is the ‘Ross' of the group..

2. Degrading our friends for no reason

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Sigmund Freud would have a fucking field day with the amount of projection that occurs between friends in their twenties these days...slut.

3. Supplementing Xanax for vitamins

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Because Flintstone vitamins are for kids, and grown-up vitamins are too big to swallow. Xanax is like a warm hug from an old friend that helps you get through your anxiety-ridden mid-twenties.

4. Dramatizing everything around us

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So you’re 23 and your mom makes you pay “rent” ($100 a month) to live in your home’s fully-furnished walk-out basement? You really are living in fucking nightmare! How do you even?

5. Judging ourselves too harshly

Via mattbyrd.com

So someone you barely knew in high school just got engaged and put a picture up on Instagram? Must be time to harshly critique every aspect of your life starting with your physical appearance and ending with your lack of ability to sustain a healthy relationship with anything other than a Hot Pocket.

6. Staying in...then complaining

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All we want to do on Friday nights is lay in bed, eat pizza rolls, and watch Netflix, but we also want all of our friends to be doing the exact same thing at their own houses...alone. I mean, if I’m not going out, then why should anyone even want to do anything fun? FOMO sucks balls.

7. Going out...then complaining

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Motherfucker. Remember last Friday night when you stayed in and wished you went out? Well this is worse. SO MUCH WORSE. Let’s be serious: It wouldn’t matter if Rihanna was passing out $50 bills with her boobs, most twenty-somethings would still be counting down the hours until it’s time to get into bed.

8. Complaining in general

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Because, simply put, everyone is out to get you, and that’s the only thing you’re sure of these days.

9. Binge watching TV shows

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I mean really, Netflix, you are my best friend and my worst enemy all at the same time. Between you and Chipotle I just don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong anymore.

P.S.: Why is it so hard for us to grasp the concept that it is not acceptable to watch 11 hours of House of Cards and then show up for work looking like we’ve been partying with Courtney Love since 1992?

10. Worrying about the future

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Hey, AUNT BARBARA, can you please stop asking about my job/relationship/future goals?? While I appreciate your concerns, I’d rather not be reminded about my self-destructing life at Easter Sunday breakfast...

11. Impulse buying

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We spend money like P. Diddy, but then dodge Sallie Mae’s phone calls like the fucking plague...go figure.

12. Going to the pediatrician

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I’m not sure which is worse: the fear that your pediatrician will finally tell you “it’s time to see a grown-up doctor,” or the embarrassment of sitting in the Toy Story themed waiting room next to an infant with whooping cough...

Either way it’s better than going to a doctor who thinks it’s acceptable to put a Q-Tip anywhere other than in your ear...

Via pfhstheroar.com

It looks like Eric Foreman said it best:

Here's to the next time we stay in on a Saturday night because our favorite musical artist is performing on SNL.