Obama Buys Lincoln’s Bones - “He’s My Bitch Now”
Yesterday Barack Obama purchased the bones of Abraham Lincoln for an undisclosed sum. “He’s my bitch now,” America’s most famous Muslim was heard whispering to the bones as he lightly kissed Abe’s skull. “I’ve got his bible, many of his personal belongings and now his bones.” Obama’s hardest task is finding the appropriate space in the White House for his new collection. “I might put it next to Sasha’s Pikachu collection in the Blue Room. But Malia’s already taken a femur and started acting out Todd Rundgren’s “I don’t wanna work, I just wanna bang on these drums all day.”
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