A Guide For People Who Are Totally Not Leaving Work Early

Wink! Did I just say wink out loud?

1. This is you right now. Stuck at work…

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2. WHAT’S THIS NOW? Your friends are in town and want you to ditch?

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3. But you have that work thing that’s due… Remember that thing?

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  1. POP QUIZ: What Should You Do??
    1. Ignore Your Friends
    2. Leave Work
    3. Steve Holt!
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5. OK, so what’s the plan?

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6. Study the office. Become one with the office. You are the walrus.

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7. When the action is elsewhere, sneak away from your desk.

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8. If the boss walks by, act natural.

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9. Now….make a break for the exit!

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10. GAHH coworker at the door!

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11. Yup, he saw you. Play it cool…

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12. What? Me? Leave? Psh. What?

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13. Try starting a conversation about your political affiliation or religious views.

Bonus points if you can blend the two into one!

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14. Coworker: “OKBYEEEEEE”

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15. Look around you. Nobody is watching. THIS IS IT

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16. Final Battle: YOU vs. DOOR

Beware of pop-ins. You’re gonna get some pop-ins.

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17. As you leave *DO NOT FORGET* to walk out of the office like a motherf*cking badass.

…also you’ll probably need to do that work thing eventually. I recommend doing it while you’re drunk because of yolo.

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