1. This is you right now. Stuck at work…
2. WHAT’S THIS NOW? Your friends are in town and want you to ditch?
3. But you have that work thing that’s due… Remember that thing?
5. OK, so what’s the plan?
6. Study the office. Become one with the office. You are the walrus.
7. When the action is elsewhere, sneak away from your desk.
9. Now….make a break for the exit!
12. What? Me? Leave? Psh. What?
13. Try starting a conversation about your political affiliation or religious views.
Bonus points if you can blend the two into one!
14. Coworker: “OKBYEEEEEE”
15. Look around you. Nobody is watching. THIS IS IT
16. Final Battle: YOU vs. DOOR
Beware of pop-ins. You’re gonna get some pop-ins.
17. As you leave *DO NOT FORGET* to walk out of the office like a motherf*cking badass.
…also you’ll probably need to do that work thing eventually. I recommend doing it while you’re drunk because of yolo.
- Joe Biden has begun to "actively explore a possible presidential campaign," the New York Times reports.
- A conservation group in Zimbabwe reported that Jericho, the brother of beloved lion Cecil, was shot and killed by a hunter. But some scientists monitoring the pride believe he is OK.
- The trooper who pulled over Sandra Bland was disciplined for "unprofessional conduct" in the fall of 2014, records show.