A Guide For People Who Are Totally Not Leaving Work Early

Wink! Did I just say wink out loud?

1. This is you right now. Stuck at work…

2. WHAT’S THIS NOW? Your friends are in town and want you to ditch?

3. But you have that work thing that’s due… Remember that thing?

  1. POP QUIZ: What Should You Do??
    1. Ignore Your Friends
    2. Leave Work
    3. Steve Holt!

5. OK, so what’s the plan?

6. Study the office. Become one with the office. You are the walrus.

7. When the action is elsewhere, sneak away from your desk.

8. If the boss walks by, act natural.

9. Now….make a break for the exit!

10. GAHH coworker at the door!

11. Yup, he saw you. Play it cool…

12. What? Me? Leave? Psh. What?

13. Try starting a conversation about your political affiliation or religious views.

Bonus points if you can blend the two into one!

14. Coworker: “OKBYEEEEEE”

15. Look around you. Nobody is watching. THIS IS IT

16. Final Battle: YOU vs. DOOR

Beware of pop-ins. You’re gonna get some pop-ins.

17. As you leave *DO NOT FORGET* to walk out of the office like a motherf*cking badass.

…also you’ll probably need to do that work thing eventually. I recommend doing it while you’re drunk because of yolo.

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