Technically, Any Catholic Man Can Be The Next Pope

Based on Vatican rules, if you are a Catholic man, you can be elected Pope.

Technically, any Catholic male who has reached the age of reason, is not a heretic, is not in schism, and is not “notorious” for simony can be elected pope — there is no other requirement for election.

Image by STEFANO RELLANDINI / Reuters

1. So given these requirements, you could certainly have a Pope Bono:

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2. Pope Caviezel: The Christ-like.

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3. Pope Schwarzenegger: The Pumped.

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4. Pope Fatone: The Holy Sync.

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5. Pope De Niro: The Red-Faced.

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6. Pope Gibson: The Crusader.

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7. Pope Murray: The Brilliant.

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8. Pope Nicholson: The Angry.

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9. Pope Dennis Kucinich: The Little Man in the Hat.

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10. Pope Roberts: The Judger.

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11. Pope Scorsese: The Wise.

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12. Pope Pacino: The Devil’s Advocate.

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13. Pope Biden: The Innocent.

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14. Pope Sheen: The Irish.

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15. Pope Stallone: The Devoted.

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16. Pope Maher (if he re-converted).

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17. Pope Travolta (if he re-converted).

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18. Pope Springsteen: The Rock.

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19. Pope James Woods.

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20. Pope Voight.

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21. And Pope Nic Cage.

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Imagine!

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Please do it, Vatican!

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