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Bill Murray Gave A Breathtakingly Masterful Performance While Golfing This Weekend

“Golf was my first glimpse of comedy.” -Bill Murray

1. Bill Murray kicked an unprecedented array of ass at the Pebble Beach Golf Tournament this weekend.

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2. Here is how he did it with noble cadence:

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3. Bill Murray became a cuss of a Scottish farmer for the first day of the tournament.

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4. He crushed putts and celebrated like, “What now, you lumpish boar-pig?”

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5. Producing this silhouette that could make Ansel Adams cry.

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6. He was calling the pitch like an unmuzzled cricket umpire.

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7. Like a hedge-born beast on the green.

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8. He wore this railtrain conductor’s cap for one tottering, onion-eyed cameraman to gasp at.

LiPo Ching/San Jose Mercury News / MCT

9. He took a break on a cockered volunteer’s lap.

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10. He signed one mammering fan’s face with great prejudice.

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11. He masterfully kicked a football held by one dog-hearted NFL player, Harris Barton.

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12. Of course, he made it with miles to spare.

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13. He found a bucket of hats. Guess what he did with them?

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14. He threw them to plume-plucked fans.

Harry How / Getty Images

15. “And you get a hat vassal, and you get a hat…”

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16. His existence is full of breathless win.

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17. He sat on the ground to sign personalized autographs for these tickle-brained children who probably held insufficient knowledge of his greatness.

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18. He gloriously drove these balls directly into our surly hearts.

Ezra Shaw / Getty Images

19. Bill Murray, one swag-bellied apple-john of a man.

Jeff Gross / Getty Images

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