1.
When he has the nerve to say it was 9 inches on Grindr but it's not even half that IRL.
2.
When you've been douching for more than five minutes and the water's still brown.
3.
When he gets it out and you're hypnotised by its beauty.
4.
When it's bigger than you thought but it's too late to back out now.
5.
When you've douched but he can't get it up.
6.
When he puts the lube over your butt and it feels like water from the Antarctic being poured onto your skin.
7.
When he can't find the hole.
8.
When he tells you he doesn't have any poppers but you're determined so you turn to the wine instead.
9.
When you take the lid off the poppers and inhale for the first time.
10.
When he's rimming you like a thirsty dog.
11.
When it first goes in.
12.
When he gets too into it and says, "Call me daddy".
13.
When he's hitting your prostate again and again.
14.
When he cums and it goes in your eyes.
15.
When you don't know whether to spit or swallow.
16.
When he cums and leaves you to finish off yourself.
17.
When he came inside you but there isn't a toilet nearby so you're clenching for your life.
18.
When a couple invite you over on Sunday and you're trying your absolute hardest.
19.
When you're at a chill-out and the IRL porn just isn't stopping.
20.
When two bottoms see there's only one top to go around.
21.
When you realise he's a bottom as well and you've got to decide who tops.
22.
When you take dick one time and he calls you a power bottom.
23.
After you've had a good dicking and you're feeling like you could do it all over again.
