1. You spend the entire day basically collapsed on your desk at work and it is here that you vow to have an early night.
2. You try to introduce some sensual, much-needed alone time that will help you sleep early.
3. When you finally crawl into bed at what you think is a reasonable hour, you turn everything off and lie in the dark.
4. A couple of minutes later you end up checking your phone because lying in the dark is boring AF.
5. Before long you've got to the tweets from three hours ago and you know you're fucked from this point on.
6. You kid yourself that you're just going to put Netflix on as background noise to help you sleep. Basically this is bollocks because you end up watching something new and get hooked after five minutes.
7. By midnight, you're browsing your Tumblr dashboard on one tab and internet shopping on another.
8. Staying up late isn't all bad though: You get to transform into a ninja when you go to the bathroom so you don't wake everybody up.
9. But it also means there's a flushing dilemma: Do you flush the toilet and wake everybody up or do you not flush and be gross?
10. For some reason your appetite is basically nocturnal, so you find yourself in the kitchen with two frying pans, three saucepans, and six plates on the go.
11. You send out a mournful Snapchat in the hope that somebody will reply because they too have been caught in the cycle.
12. Since nobody is awake to stop you, you find your crush's/ex's Instagram account and get your stalk on.
13. At some point you clock the time and hate yourself for abandoning your early night plans.
14. When you're about to call it a night, the episode you swore would be the last one you watched ends on a cliffhanger.
15. You suddenly hear the birds tweeting and know you fucked up big time.
16. Some time around EARLY NIGHT MY ASSam, you finally fall asleep. After checking Twitter once more, of course.
17. But you're woken what feels like three minutes later by your alarm because it's time to RISE AND SHINE.
18. The next day you die at your desk, hate yourself a lot, and swear you'll never get stuck in that cycle again.
19. But at the end of the day, when you're collapsed on your desk again, the cycle just restarts.
