1. Rent is even more expensive than you expected.
When did the rent in London get SO expensive for rancid hell holes? Rancid hell holes used to be much more affordable.
I'm sorry, how much?
2. Your apartment is likely to be remarkably different to what you imagined.
3. If you already have a job, getting to it isn't as quick and easy as you thought it would be.
4. Your job seems well-paid. Then you factor in London living expenses and suddenly it doesn't seem so great anymore.
5. Yes, the tube is a great invention. Yes, this is reflected by how much it costs to travel anywhere on it.
6. Nobody talks to anybody on the tube.
7. The How Many People Can You Fit in a Mini? game is replicated on the underground.
8. A tube strike is a real thing that can just happen out of the blue.
9. Much like driving, lessons and a license should be required for walking anywhere in London.
10. Walking slower than 15mph is comparable to serious crime.
11. Tutting is a form of communication.
12. There is a McDonald's on every street corner.
13. Taxi drivers will spare no thought for your life if you find yourself stuck in the middle of the road.
14. Oxford and Piccadilly aptly have 'Circus' attached to their names.
Because what we definitely have too much of in Oxford Circus on a Friday afternoon, is space.
15. London clothing stores hire impossibly good-looking people to work in them.
16. Arranging to meet someone at the Topshop on Oxford Street is not a good idea.
Chaos isn't a pit or a ladder, it's TopShop Oxford Circus on a Saturday afternoon.
It's not.
17. On Saturday, the day you left aside for all of your London adventures, you'll probably camp out in bed because you're way too tired.
18. You will be charged the same price as a small vehicle for a vodka and orange. Forget a mortgage if you want a double.
19. Once you've seen all the landmarks once, it stops being as exciting.
20. You'll probably forget you were once a tourist. By Friday, you'll be tutting at the tourists too.
21. Even though London is incredibly big, you'll probably feel incredibly lonely.
22. But because London is so incredibly big, it doesn't take much effort to make new friends.
23. You'll ring your mum and tell her this place is incredible and you never want to leave.
